Second, it’s crucial to give your relationship priority. I haven't liked it for over 2yrs. For many couples, the birth of their first child seems to trigger a closer look at the church or faith tradition in which they want their children to be reared. When you’re newly married, and all is sweetness and light, it seems easy to overlook differences of preference—which restaurant to go to, what TV show to watch, where to go on summer vacation—in order to please your spouse. ... husbands might quit. Examine your own motives, asking yourself why you find it so hard to accommodate your spouse. Here are a few principles you might want to consider—especially if you and your spouse are having trouble in this area. I don’t love my husband. Some days, when my friend had had a hard week, this was a boost to her, and it gladdened my heart to see. Here are five reasons why we … In the meantime, there are a few principles you should keep in mind as you and your partner attempt to work through your differences. Witches are spiritual, too, I guess. Agree. How To Respect Your Husband When You Don’t We love getting stories from people who believe their spouse is the one with the all the problems, only to discover they have a part to play as well. If not, keep praying that God will grant you the answers you’re seeking. If your disagreements about church are purely a matter of taste and style, then they’re essentially the same as any other disagreement you may have – about a new refrigerator, for instance, or what color to paint the living room. $9 Million Match! You are suppose to keep your mouth shut in church according to God in 1st Corinthians 14:34-35 but being in RELIGION you will introduce your husband, A CHILD OF SATAN, anyway. Yes, I will give families hope this Christmas! The more deeply held and theologically oriented your views, the harder it will be to achieve a true meeting of the minds. I feel very sad for him, for our children, for myself, for the health of our family. Getting a Reluctant Spouse Onboard With Budgeting, 8605 Explorer Drive Colorado Springs, CO 80920-1051, How to Introduce Your Kids to the Scriptures, 10 Ways Your Family Can Show Love to Neighbors During Coronavirus. Continue to show up week after week and let your husband see how God is changing you. I've really tried to make the effort. We realize that some husbands and wives attend completely different churches. Yes, double my gift to save twice the lives this Christmas! Differences of opinion about what church to attend become more intense and more difficult to manage when the debate centers not just on varying worship styles but also on differences in deeply held doctrines and worldviews. Lily, We are sorry that this was not useful for you! Anonymous: Anonymous wrote:Changing your last name is outdated, imo. Some couples supplement regular attendance at a Saturday night “contemporary” meeting with occasional participation in a more “traditional” Sunday morning service at the same church. I felt like an earthquake had torn down everything that was stable. I don’t know what to do. Double your gift to save babies from abortion! Social Issues. He’s chasing him. Sister in Christ, I’m so sorry your husband is in a rough place right now. From Focus on the Family’s Complete Guide to the First Five Years of Marriage, published by Tyndale. Her first allegiance is to God and His truth. Frequently spouses discover a desire to return to the traditions in which they were raised. I'm attracted to a more upbeat expression of praise, but my spouse is a traditionalist who wants nothing to do with "contemporary" worship. Double your gift for struggling families! Remember, no one is saddened by this more than Jesus. I used to like going and got SO much out of it, but now, not so much. Start the free five-part video course called, “Cherish Your Spouse”, and gain a deeper level of connection with your spouse. If a husband is “leading” his wife and family into churches or spiritual practices that are heretical or cultic, it should be obvious that the wife has to put her spiritual foot down and refuse to participate. Do everything you can to devise a compromise both of you can live with. I've tried to make friends.. but the women aren't that nice. Examine your own motives, asking yourself why you find it so hard to accommodate your spouse. That’s a whole different deal. As you settle into your relationship, however, feelings about some preferences gain importance. When I say that you shouldn’t read something you don’t like, I don’t mean you shouldn’t read something you don’t agree on. If you’re at an impasse on this issue, don’t despair. Based on biblical principles and psychologically sound advice, Aftershock is designed to help women heal, grow, and receive restoration for themselves, their husbands, and their marriages. ... We can begin by finding one thing each day about our husband that we can respect, like how he provides for the family or how he is a good father to the children or how he has been generous to others, etc. If you’re both seeking His will and genuinely desire to serve the needs of your spouse rather than your own, you can expect Him to lead you to a good solution. Differences of opinion about what church to attend become more intense when the debate centers not just on varying worship styles but also on differences in deeply held doctrines and worldviews—even if those differences never had seemed all that serious before. $9 Million Match! Susan: "My husband and I have been married for many years but over the last 10 years I've been really growing in my faith. All rights reserved. My husband is convinced I am rebellious and unsubmissive. Her first allegiance is to God and His truth. $9 Million Match! Clearly this is not a decision God would want for them; Scripture states that Christians are not to abandon fellowship with other believers (Hebrews 10:25). Keep looking for a place of worship that provides for the spiritual growth of both spouses – and your children, if you have any. [/quote] Hi Trista: I hear you. Share. Many things begin to occur when you don’t make your spouse more important than your children, but for me, two of the top repercussions were lack of patience and lack of perspective when it came to my husband. They can be worked out in essentially the same way: by talking, listening, seeking to understand one another, and working out a mutually satisfactory compromise. Couples who cherish each other understand that God created everyone different, and as a result they treasure the unique characteristics in their spouse. I pray and pray but feel nothing. “Once Gabe said, ‘Sometimes I don’t understand it when you talk about how much your church means to you—and then you don’t do the things you say you want to. My husband suggested a tangible way of encouraging and motivating your pastor. Why I Go To Church Even When I Don’t Feel Like It by Trudy Smith. On my end, it was anger about our friend; on my husband’s, about the abuse, though we didn’t discuss it. My husband and I have been married for about 7 years. It shocked me. I was raised in a fairly contemporary Presbyterian church. Read Next ... Then one day, an older church lady put my husband and me in charge of finding people to serve communion each week. He also told me she was a very spiritual person. This book is for women who have discovered their husband’s struggle with pornography and other sexual infidelities. What To Do When Your Husband Won’t Come To Church With You 1. 3. For example, you might try the “mix and match” approach. Sister in Christ, I’m so sorry your husband is in a rough place right now. Subject: I don't like my husband's last name. Just saying. ... as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. . The people are judgemental and unfriendly. Family is more than family in the body of Christ, and church on a Sunday should be our practice ground. Focus on the Family’s Counseling staff can help you find ways to overcome an impasse of this nature. You may discover that this argument is merely a symptom of deeper problems in your relationship. They don’t even have to do or say anything – just being present can make us feel tense or edgy. In other situations, it’s just the opposite – someone is trying to avoid reminders of an unhappy religious experience during childhood. Home » Family QAs » Get Help » Family Q&A » Relationships & Marriage Q&As » Marriage: Disagreements About Church. I don’t think it is our job as a wife or mom to concern ourselves with this. I really need some help and prayers. Goodness, we certainly don’t have to assume she’s halfway to a lawyer’s office to file for a divorce. Her first allegiance is to God and His truth. (Fortunately, differences in church choices are rarely this extreme.) He’s chasing him. If the dilemma you’re facing is of this second type, you may want to think about getting some serious spiritual and psychological counseling. I don’t want to be there. Honestly, I don’t even know that I will use my degree if I don’t need to. My name is Lily, I’m 29, single and a Christian. Double your gift to save babies from abortion! Yes, double my gift to save twice the lives this Christmas! I feel the same. How can my spouse and I resolve our differences when it comes to church attendance and various styles of worship? I enjoy the spirit and music of a more contemporary church. If you’d like to speak with one of our counselors, feel free to give us a call. $9 Million Match! 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